For perfectionists, overthinking can be an attempt to prevent mistakes, avoid disappointment, and create certainty. You replay conversations, analyze decisions, imagine every possible outcome, and search for the "right" answer.

Your brain may tell you:

What if I make the wrong choice?

What if I missed something?

What if I could have done better?

The problem isn't that you think deeply. Your ability to analyze, plan, and anticipate can be a strength. The problem is when thinking becomes a loop that leaves you more anxious instead of helping you move forward.

How Therapy Helps Perfectionists Stop Moving the Goalposts

Do you ever reach a goal and immediately start thinking about what you need to accomplish next?

For perfectionists, success can feel temporary. You finish the project, get the promotion, earn the grade, or reach the goal, but instead of feeling proud, your mind quickly moves the goalposts.

Perfectionism doesn't only live in your thoughts. You may feel it in your body, too. 

When you're constantly trying to get things right, avoid mistakes, meet expectations, or prove that you're doing enough, your body may begin carrying some of that pressure. Do you notice how your body feels?

How Does Movement Help Quiet an Overthinking Brain?

Ever feel like your brain just won't shut up? Get out of your head by moving your body. 

You replay that conversation from yesterday. You reread the text you sent three times. You wonder if you made the right decision. You stress about your grades, your relationships, your future—and then somehow end up overthinking the fact that you're overthinking. You are all in your head. Maybe you are stressed because you are a freshman at  college and the stress of performing well is overwhelming. Or you are a senior in college that is anxious and worried about graduating and finding a job. 

If you're a perfectionist or high achiever, your brain may be constantly looking for the "right" answer or trying to make sure you don't mess up. You could be replaying the coulda, woulda, shoulda game with yourself. 

Why is it so hard to relax when you finally have nothing to do? For perfectionists, rest can feel uncomfortable. You may sit down and immediately think about everything you should be doing. Instead of feeling refreshed, you feel guilty for taking a break.

Sometimes your body notices stress before your mind catches up. You feel tense in your shoulders, get frequent headaches, and feel restless all the time. But you think, why?

You might tell yourself, "I'm fine. I just have a lot going on." Meanwhile, your body may be telling a different story. When we begin to have somatic complaints it is our bodies way of saying “Hi we need a shift!” 

What Is the Difference Between Excellence and Perfectionism?

Wanting to do your best isn't the same as needing to be perfect. Excellence is about growing from the mistakes and perfectionism is dwelling on the mistakes and fear driven. 

Excellence: You set high standards, put in effort, learn from mistakes, and can still feel proud of yourself when things don't go exactly as planned. Understanding that it is about the process not the product. 

Perfectionism is often about fear. You may feel like mistakes aren't acceptable, your work is never good enough, or your worth depends on getting things right. You never feel comfortable or complete unless everything is “just right.” 

Are High Standards the Problem?

Having high standards isn't a flaw. In fact, high standards can help you grow, stay motivated, and accomplish meaningful goals. High standards when seen as a strength can actually help you feel more confident, joyful, and free. 

Most perfectionists don't want to become less driven—they want to stop feeling exhausted. You feel guilty for relaxing and feel tense and constant restlessness. Perfectionism isn't the enemy. It's a powerful set of strengths that can become trapped in fear. When you learn to shift from fear-driven perfectionism to purpose-driven excellence, those same qualities become your greatest assets.

We're often told to "stop being such a perfectionist," as if perfectionism is something to eliminate. But what if that's only part of the story?

I believe perfectionism isn't the problem—it's how we relate to it.

Many perfectionists are ambitious, thoughtful, driven, and incredibly capable. They notice details others miss, set meaningful goals, and work hard to achieve them. Those are strengths.

Discover what research actually says about breathwork for anxiety, how it supports your nervous system, and when breathing exercises are most effective.

Learn what research actually says about movement and exercise for anxiety, perfectionism, and emotional well-being in high-achieving teens and young adults.

Learn what research says about journaling for anxiety and perfectionism, why it helps high-achieving teens and young adults, and how to avoid turning it into another thing to perfect.

Discover what research really says about mindfulness for high-achieving teens and young adults, including what it helps with, what it doesn't, and when therapy may be needed.

Perfectionist and hIgh achieving teens might need more support than you assume. Learn more about the support that teens that are perfectionists may need during the summer months.